It's Another My Immortal Commentary!
by HeapsofHorses
Summary: My take on the most horrible fanfiction ever written. Enjoy!
1. 1: Chapter 1 & 2

**AN: Hey everyone! Welcome to my new commentary on My Immortal! Yeah, I know, it's been done before, but I wanted to do one for myself. So, some things you need to know before you start reading: Firstly, since the chapters are so short, I decided to do two My Immortal chapters each time instead of one. Secondly, for those who hadn't figured it out yet, bold is me talking and **regular** is the original story. Thirdly, I'm not English, so any mistakes you see which are written in bold, are mine. Rest is all on Tara.**

**Aaaaaaaaand, before I forget**

**Disclaimer: I don't own My Immortal, and every day I thank the heavens for that little fact.**

**Now I'm done, let's get started!**

Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) **And with these words, the stupidity begins…** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **Why would I think of it that way?** raven, **WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, RAVEN? WHY? Oops, spoilers ;)** bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin **Who? Justin Bieber?** ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! **Oh, great. I can see where Twila got all that random stuff…**

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **What kind of IDIOTIC name is that?** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **Naw! I NEVER would have guessed!** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back **What planet are you from? No, seriously. This sounds horrifying** and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **Excuse me, WHAT?** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee **NO. YOU MOST CERTAINLY DON'T LOOK LIKE AMY LEE. Amy Lee, for example, has normal hair and she also has a normal name… **(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). **Sorry, don't feel like it…** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **But. That would mean you're related. Which would make it WRONG.(not that I mind, I'm a Wincest shipper, for God's sake)** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! IT'S A SPARKLEFAIRY! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). **Naw!** I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) ***Facepalm*** and I wear mostly black. ***Bangs head into keyboard* STOP STATING THE OBVIOUS!** I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **I'm not sure Hot Topic sells Goth clothes…** For example today I was wearing **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT ALREADY!** a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. **You know, Hogwarts has such a thing called a dress-code…** I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, **Why would you do that? You just said you had pale skin already?** black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **How's that even possible?** so there was no sun, **No shit, Sherlock! What a perfect observation!** which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. **I'd stare too. You sound completely ridiculous…** I put up my middle finger at them. **Nice, Ebony. Very nice**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **Poor him**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **But… He was just shouting? Why would he be shy now?**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **1) Rude, and 2) Completely pointless…**

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AN: IS it good? **NO.** PLZ tell me fangz! **Here we go again with the fangz. Stop it!**

Chapter 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **Never!**

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. **AGAIN?** **What the Hell's wrong with the weather?** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **Charming… **My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **I think you should've just kept that t-shirt. It probably covers more of your body anyway…** I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **So your hair probably looks like a bird's nest…**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **Oh god…** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. **I hate her already…** She put on her Marilyn Manson **Who thinks Marilyn Manson is a woman? For all those who do, I'm sorry. Marilyn Manson is a f*cking guy! And he's called Marilyn! *shocked*** t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **You must look like death warmed over**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **Wow, no need to snap! It was just a question…**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said. **I don't like where this is going…**

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." **Impossible. Good Charlotte is a MUGGLE band** he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. "Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked. **What, to a non-existing concert?**

I gasped. **For the first of many times…**

**AN: Well, that's a wrap on the first two chapters! Please review on your way out and I'll see you next time!**


	2. NOT A NEW CHAPTER, SORRY!

**Hey everyone! **

**NOT A NEW CHAPTER, I'M SORRY! I know you've probably been hoping for a new one, but unfortunately, the site I got the original story from suddenly shut down, so I'm gonna be searching for a new one… I just thought I should let you guys know I'm not dead and very much searching for a new site.**

**Anyway,**

**Thank you ****tris-everdeen99**** for putting this story on alert and reviewing, (and thank you for the compliment :))**

**Thank you ****FinalPower**** and ****ThoseEvilDucks**** for favouriting and reviewing,**

**and lastly, Thank you ****Kisses Under The Apple Tree****(please do. And send me a copy :)), ****I'm awesome and y'all know it****(thanks! Glad to see you again :)) and Guest (If you heard about someone called Marilyn, I assume you'd think that person a woman…) for reviewing!**

**Thanks for your patience, and the next chapter WILL be My Immortal again!**

**~HeapsofHorses**


	3. Chapter 3 & 4

**AN: I HAVE FOUND A NEW SITE, AND I'M BACK! *Cheering and applause* :). Anyway, welcome back to It's Another My Immortal Commentary! I'll try to not take this long with the next update (and the one after that, and the one after that…)**

**To remind you**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT, I repeat, I DO NOT own this storyline, that's all Tara (fortunately), nor do I own Harry Potter (Unfortunately…). All I own are the lines written in bold**

**Now, ENJOY THESE NEW CHAPTERS!**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **NEVER!** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! **She actually got GOOD reviews? Wow…** FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **I don't like where this is going…**

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On the night of the concert **Ah, yes. The impossible concert…** I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. **UNDERNEATH them? Don't you mean ABOVE?** Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. **This has to be her worst outfit 'till now** I put on matching fishnet on my arms. **Yikes** I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. **Then what's the point of straightening it in the first place?** I felt a little depressed then, **Oh, god** so I slit one of my wrists. **No. NO** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DON'T DO THAT!** and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. **Why? Why so much?** Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **WHY DID IT TAKE YOU TWO AND A HALF CHAPTERS TO FIGURE THAT OUT?!** I drank some human blood **NO. STOP IT. I can't. I just can't** so I was ready to go to the concert.** EXCUSE ME? WHAT?!**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. **HOLD THE THIEF!** He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **Yeah, well. Draco doesn't**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **Wow… You are SO excited for the concert…**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) **Of course… **and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!** When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel **This is. A song about a woman giving birth… Wow…** (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, **Excuse me, you're there on a DATE with your soon-to-be-boyfriend and all you can talk about is the singer? **pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on. **A little slow, are we?**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively **C'mon "Draco", MAN UP **and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." **Of course you do…** I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. ***Facepalm***

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer **Muggle** and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **Is it bad that I'm hoping Draco took her there to kill her?**

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY **Laughing my ass of here… Ebony's name is Enoby. Thank you, Tara, for clearing that up…** nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **Oh, really? Can't imagine… Poor Draco…**

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **What does it look like he's doing?**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **This girl has the WORST mood swings I've EVER seen…**

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) **What's wrong with his own eyecolor?**

which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness ***Facepalm* SERIOUSLY?** and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **Oh, please…**

And then… **He killed her, he killed her. Please tell me he killed her** suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. **One absolutely HORRENDOUS sex scene coming up** He took of my top and I took of his clothes. **Here we go!** I even took of my bra. **Wow… What a sacrifice! **Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. ***Bangs head into wall while screaming loudly* **

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. **I am officially scarred for life. Thank you Tara…** And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" **Oh, god**

It was….Dumbledore! **What is HE doing there? And why is he shouting? I can't for the life of me picture Dumbledore SHOUTING**

**AN: Well, everyone. That's a wrap on those two chapters. And still about 40 to go… Why did I even start this… Anyway, next chapter will probably up a LOT faster than this one, please review on your way out and see you next time!**


	4. Chapter 5 & 6

**AN: Hey everyone! First of all, Thank you Ekiushi for putting this story on alert! And I'm really sorry for my long absence (again…), but it's the last week of school and the teachers are trying to stuff as much work as they possibly can in it… So I've been kind of busy. On a happier note, I've also been to see One Direction in Amsterdam. It was f*cking awesome! :D**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)!**

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **It does? Wow, you learn something new every day :)** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache **Next time you got a headache: It's okay to swear like a sailor! Or so she says…** ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! **Riiiiiight…** PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **Then I guess this is the last chapter :D**

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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily. **I still can't picture Dumbledore shouting at anyone…**

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood **NO. PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE. NO. NO!** down my pallid face. **Err… Okay? **Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled **Dude, stop yelling. They're standing right in front of you, you know…** in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" **Gotta remember that one. Best insult EVER** asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **NO! DRACO! COME TO YOUR SENSES!**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **SNAPE, what did she DO to you?**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. **You're seriously gonna sleep in THAT?** When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. **Is this starting ALREADY?** I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **Right, end of story, everyone!**

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. **Charming** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. **DRESSCODE!** I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. **I don't think they serve that at Hogwarts…** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **Already unfaithful, and we've only had, what, six chapters? She doesn't really beat around the bus, does she?** He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face **Right…** and he was wearing black lipstick. **Ew** He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. **NO! YOU WOULDN'T!** He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. **No. He doesn't** He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection **What?** only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **The only sicko here are you**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice. **I'm not**

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." **No. No. NO. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered. **He what?**

"Yeah." I roared. **Stop. Just stop.**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **And again, you're being extremely rude. Though I'm not sure why I'm surprised…**

**AN: Well, that's a wrap on those two chapters! School's almost over and after that the updates should come a hell of a lot faster. Anyway, six chapters done, only too many to count to go! Yay… Please leave a review on your way out, and AGAIN I'm sorry this took so long but I'll see you next time!**


	5. Chapter 7 & 8

**AN: Hey all! Guess who's back… Oops :). Thank you Bahip for following!**

**Warnings: One very badly written sex scene in chapter 7**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)!**

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life **Oooh look! This chapter's got a title!**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. **Really? What were they SMOKING?** n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **Guess this is the end, then…** STO FLAMING **NEVER!** OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue **Yes she is** ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! **So?** n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

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Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing **WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? STOP IT!** red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u? **Yes **). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. ***Facepalm* **I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. ***Spits out drink*. If I were him I'd be throwing a party…** Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then… **THE SUSPENSE! I CAN NOT HANDLE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! Ahem. Right…**

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. **You're passive and enthusiastic at the same time? Also, horrific sex scene coming up… **He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. **Dear god! There's no end in sight!** We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. **CAPS LOCK** (c is dat stupid?) **YES!**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm **My bucket! Where is it?!** when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. **Which is of course totally impossible since you've only known him… what, three days?** It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing **What?** were the words… Vampire! **That's more than one word?**

I was so angry. ***Facepalm***

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **Correction: You don't know anything**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **What. The. F*ck?**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. **Draco what happened to you?** He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. **And yet you still find time to mention it…** I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

Chapter 8. **Oi! Where's my title?**

AN: stop flassing **What?** ok! if u do de prep!** I'll keep that in mind for if I ever decide to start "flassing"…**

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Everyone in the class stared at me **Can you blame them?** and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked **C'mon Draco this isn't you!** and started begging me to take him back. **Does he have no dignity?**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith **Oh god** smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. **Does she have crimson contacts or crimson eyes she wears contacts on? *Confused*** She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. **Why would she do THAT?** Hermione **What? No!** was kidnapped when she was born. **NO!** Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch **NO! STOP IT!** but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. **NO! NO! NO!** She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. **STOP IT!** It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **HAVEN'T YOU RUINED ENOUGH?**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **Rude, Evony. Very rude.**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped. ***Bangs head into wall***

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **Wait, what? What's happening?** I had went out with Vampire **Did we just switch to Draco?** (I'm bi and so is Ebony) **Yes we did, we switched to Draco.** for a while but then he broke my heart. **Aw, poor you…** He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. ***Bangs head into keyboard*** We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. **Him too?** (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)** Yes that would be so HORRIBLE**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **Are we still with Draco?** I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility **Your what?** to Draco **Looks like we're back to dear ol' Evony… All these confusing switches are giving me a headache…** and then I started to bust into tears. **YES! IT'S OVER!**

**AN: Well, thank god that's over :). On another note, there won't be any more updates for a while, since I'm going on holiday in two days. So excited! Anyway, hope you liked this chapter (Hint! Hint! Review! Review!) and I'll see you in three weeks!**


	6. Chapter 9 & 10

**AN: Hey everyone! I'm back! Did you miss me? :). Anyway, Thank you tris-everdeen99 for reviewing (THREE times! Yay!)**

**Now, enjoy these new chapters!**

Chapter 9

AN: stop flaming ok! **Never!** I dntn red all da boox! **This certainly explains a lot…** dis is frum da movie **And now it doesn't anymore… **ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **Dumbledore doesn't swear in the movies either…** besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! **Yes, and?** and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! **I just sat here, for five minutes staring at that sentence because I just. Couldn't.** MCR ROX! **Random!**

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. **How is it cheating that he slept with "Vampire" before he'd even friggin MET you?** I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **Gee, thanks for THAT reminder…**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose **Yes, you just said that…** (basically like Voldemort in the movie) ***Facepalm*** and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! **Naw! I NEVER would have guessed!**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him.** What? Why would you do that?** Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. **Er, I thought "Crookshanks" was the name of Hermione's cat?** I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist ***Bangs head into wall*** so I stopped.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **Can't you do it yourself? What happened to you?**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. **NO. Just NO.** I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **Slightly slow on the uptake aren't we?**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. **Why? Her wand ain't enough?** "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. **Why would you be surprised?**

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded **I know! She really is SO stupid!** look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." **It's called Legilimency…** he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou **I'm not sure WHAT it is here, but I'm pretty sure it's not that…** know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **Which he doesn't need…**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) **Yes. And I don't want to get it…** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. **You what?**

"That's okay." he said all depressed **I'd be depressed too after hearing that…** and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags **You just sank even lower in my opinion. I didn't even know it was possible but CONGRATULATIONS Tara…** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! **No** ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **Oh, great. You found yet ANOTHER way to ruin Harry Potter. STOP IT!**

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I was really scared about Vlodemort **Yay! The first variation!** all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. **What's in a name, eh?** I am the lead singer of it **Of course** and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. **They were all drunk** The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. **NO! NOT RON TOO!** He has black hair now with blue streaks in it. ***Screams in despair***) and Hargrid. ***Screams loudly while banging head into the wall violently*** Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists ***Stares at screen for 5 whole minutes*** (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too **No.** and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that ***Facepalm***) or a steak **Yum! Steak!**) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. **Ugh. I DON'T CARE!** You might think I'm a slut **That's 'cause you are…** but I'm really not. **Oh, great. A slut in denial…**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' **Wasn't that the song about Gerard's "grandpa"?** and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **Why?**

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. **BEFORE they met you. So it shouldn't even matter…** But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character? **YES YES YES YES! GOD YES IT FUCKING IS!**)

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. **Out of character** Then he ran out crying. **Even MORE out of character…**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! **Ooooooh! The Horror!** His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. **He what?** (c dats basically nut swering **So? "Cry wisely" still isn't a thing…** and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAID HE COULDN'T DO THAT?! *Confused***

**AN: Well, that's another 2 chapters over and done with… Only 30-something to go now… Anyway, please leave a review on your way out and see you next time!**


	7. Chapter 11 & 12

**AN: Hey everyone! Guess who's back! I know, it's been ridiculously long since the last chapter and I'm sorry. To make up for my long absence, you get an EXTRA LONG chapter! Anyway, Thank you organic-vibesx for favouriting AND for putting this on your story alert!**

**Warnings: Sex tapes, paedophilia, increasingly worsening spelling**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)! **

Chapter 11

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! **NEVER!** c if dis chaptr is srupid! **Probably** 1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! **Doubt that** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid **Yes** brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

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"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **That's not nice…** and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting **I still can't picture Dumbledore doing any of that…** but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. ***Facepalm***

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. **WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?!** They got all over my clothes **Who's "they"? Your wrists?** so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak **Why?** and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide.** What? Oh a STAKE. I thought you meant a piece of meat!** I was so fucking depressed! **I got that message 5 sentences ago…** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. **WHY tell me this NOW? I DON'T CARE! Also I hope you meant sadly…** I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. **Stop it!** I couldn't fucking believe it. **What, those clothes? Neither can I...** Then I looked out the window and screamed… **Oh dear… I don't think I'm gonna like this…** Snap was spying on me **And how about that, I was right!** and he was taking a video tape of me! **Would Snape even know what a video camera is?** And Loopin **NO. NO!** was masticating **What?** to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. **I thought you just got dressed?** Suddenly Vampire ran in. **RANDOM!**

"Abra Kedavra!" **It's AVADA, no wonder they're not dead** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. **His WOMB? That would be a funny sight to see…** I took my gun **Why? Forgot you had a wand?** and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming **Shouldn't they be dead?** and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. **My my, it's getting busy** "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **My sentiments exactly….** he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly… **And suddenly… What?**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom **1) That's a little anticlimactic and 2) He RAN? Don't think so…** and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? **RUDE!** You're just a little **He's everything BUT little if you ask me…** Hogwarts student!" **HE'S NOT A HOGWARTS STUDENT!**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…."** No you're not** Hargirid **Who?** paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

"This cannot be." **My thoughts exactly** Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. **So Dumblydore can't aim** "There must be other factors." **What?**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" **What?** I yelled in madly. **I'm not following this anymore…**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. **Trium-elephantly. Hilarious :)** "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" **Oh god**

I felt faint, more than I normally do **That's not healthy, you should go see a doctor** like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **On second thoughts, just DIE**

"Why are you doing this?" **Why is who doing what?** Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. **What words? This is weird…** I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy **WITH WHAT?** or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." **Do I even want to know?** Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, **I don't think I want to know anymore… **waving his wand in the air. **Why?** Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **Oh GOD no. Please! Have mercy!**

"Because you're goffic?" **Oh, god. I've got a BAD feeling about this…** Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. **Three words. What. The. F*CK**

"Because I LOVE HER!" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Chapter 12

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo **No he's not** 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! **You did it wrong** how du u no snap iant kristian **BECAUSE HE ISN'T! STOP RUINING MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!** plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony **But he sang her a song and everything!** dat was sedric ok! **So, Cedric is Hagrid? I'm confused…**

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I was about to slit my wrists again **STOP IT!** with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. **When did he do that?** He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. **MY BUCKET! I NEED MY BUCKET!**

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid **STUPID CAPSlock… And HAIRGRID? Seriously?** but it was Vampire. He started to scream. **I thought he was already doing that?** "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! **This is completely ridiculous…** You could only see his red whites. **His RED whites? Riiiight…**

I stopped. "How did u know?" **Seriously?**

"I saw it! **You SAW your scar hurting?** And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!" **What?**

"NO!" **What's so bad about that?** I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" **He's HARRY POTTER. Of COURSE he's got a scar!** I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me **Come again?** and I always cover it up with foundation." **STOP IT!** he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! **You're pathetic** then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. **When did you get there?** Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. **Why? They're not sick** They were going to St. Mango's **Hilarious :)** after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching **Then you FIRE them, simple as that** in a school with lots of hot gurlz. **I assume you're talking about yourself?** Dumbledore had constipated **And again I'm laughing my ass off…** the cideo camera they took of me naked. **Let me make this clear: they took a VIDEO CAMERA of you? Suuuure….** I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. **Oh, god. I don't like where this is going…**

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." **No, I don't think I like this AT. ALL** he said in a v. serious voice, **Was it too hard to just say "very"? I don't like guessing games…** giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, **Of course you do** and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik. **Hagrid is NOT mean, and most certainly NOT gothic**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses." **I was afraid of that, yeah**

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" **What? No they're ROSES** I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" **When?** He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video **Oh for god's sake! Just say porn…** made from your shower scene and being vued **What?** by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong **Yes**) to it he added silently. **Wait, who's talking here?**

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly. **So now Enoby saved Hagrid? Wasn't it the other way around?**

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. **Oh, god** "These aren't roses." **Yes they are** He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye **I feel sorry for the roses** and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! . **Excuse me. WHAT?**

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. **I'm feeling a huge pit of dread in my stomach…**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." **What, by muttering?** Then he screamed. **Why?** "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio **Is this a spell? **(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! **Oh god** specially for raven I love you girl! **For now**)imo noto okayo!" **Somewhere J.K. Rowling is readying her gun…**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. **WHAT? This is just HORRIBLE** And it was black. **So you said** Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **Just because he transfigured a bunch of roses…**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **I thought we'd already established he was held hostage by "Volfemort"?**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing. **Should you be able to?**

"U c, Enobby," **No** Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes **That sentence gave me a headache** (HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT **Yes. Now I feel like crying**) u mst find urslf 1st, k?" **That's complete and utter BULLSHIT**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" **No need to be so rude…** Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. **So Dumbledore would need a headache to be able to answer a question?**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. **Not that much for a dramatic exit, then…** "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" **Why?**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on **Oh, god. Please have mercy** a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. **You had pictures of him on your BOOTS? I mean, I would've understood if you'd said shirt, but…** I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) **NEVER!** and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **You already put on lipstick, and now lip gloss as well? That's a bit over the top, don't you think?**

"You look kawai, girl." **What?** B'loody Mary said sadly. **Why would she be sad about that?** "Fangs (geddit **Unfortunately, yes**) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. **People who are sad generally are, yes** I slit both of my wrists **You just got out of the hospital wing!** feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. **VERY disturbing mental image** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. **Weren't they in the hospital wing as well?** I went to some classes. **Wow, what a sacrifice!** Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. **WHERE exactly?** He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. ***Facepalm*** He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP DOING THAT!**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way. ***Bangs head into wall violently***

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. **I don't like this…** Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" **Yay! Another brilliant insult!** shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. **Excuse me, but I do believe YOU jumped him first…** You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" **I'm having a déjà vu here…** and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **That's unhealthy. Also, didn't we have something similar to this bit last chapter?**

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **It's exactly the same!**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." **You already said that… **he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **I knew that already….**

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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS **Why?**!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **Look! It's the start of the Sweater-fight!**

**AN: Well, that's two chapters of pure torture done and over with. Thank god. Hope you had fun reading it! Please leave a review on your way out and I'll see you next time!**


	8. Chapter 13 & 14

**AN: Hey everyone! Long time no see… I'm really sorry for not updating for so long, but some sad stuff happened in RL and I really didn't feel like writing for a while. But I'm back! Thank you alyssialui for putting this story on alert and another Thank you to SparkleXRiverX for reviewing!**

**Warnings: Ebony's idea of torture and gore in chapter 14**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)!**

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen **Stupid Raven, why didn't you just abandon her?** im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! **Bad excuse, Tara…** PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG! **NEVER!**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **I still think she counts the X's**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" **How does she do that? Spell it right the first time and right after that… It's incredible…** we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **Where?**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?"** And we're right back to the Swearing Dumblydore…** he asked angrily.

"Volsemort **How many different names does he have at this point? Five?** has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice. **Oh god…**

"No! Don't! **Don't what, exactly?** We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort **She spelled it RIGHT! Hallelujah!** does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." **Dumbledore doesn't SAY things like that! Urgh!** then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" **No he's not. You broke up** he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot! **Where the f*ck did that come from?**)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him **Shouldn't HE be comforting YOU? Since Draco's, you know, YOUR boyfriend?** but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. **No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY? JUST… WHY?** Then he had a brainstorm. **Oh god, that doesn't sound good…** "I had an idea!" he exclaimed. **And this sounds even worse…**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! **Erm… Ebony? It's called Apparating? You don't need a wand or a spell for that? Duh…**

We ran in **I thought you were inside already?** with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **What?** It was…**OOOH, THE SUSPENSE!**….. Voldemort! **Oh come on, like we were expecting it to be someone else!**

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! **Nope** Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. **Enjoy it while you can, dear readers...** im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. **JEZUS CHRIST! GIVE A GIRL A WARNING, PLEASE?!** PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **Okay, guys, that's it! Story's over!**

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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. **Doubt that…** VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **Okay 1) VIEWER? Don't you mean READER? I mean seriously. It's not like we're watching a movie or something (Thank god for that btw…) and 2) I don't think "excretion" is the word you're looking for here…**

We ran to where Volcemort **And here we have the next variation, everyone! *Cheering and applause*** was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. **But I thought you said last chapter it was Voldemort who cast the spell?** Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. **Okay. I'll allow it just this once. 'Cuz he's Draco and he's awesome** Snaketail **Who?** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail. **It's WORMTAIL! Come on!**

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" **Okay, now I'm actually feeling sorry for him. And I don't even like him! Way to go Tara…** he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun **The gun again? What kind of wizards ARE you? Seriously!** he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. **Oh no. Tell me this isn't happening…** "EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme." **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP IT!** he said_. _(in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) **16 YEARS OLD? DID HE ENTER A FUCKING TIME MACHINE OR SOMETHING?**

"Huh?" I asked. "Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." **Ebony, the only fucked up bastard here is YOU** I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. **YOU'RE A WITCH! (As much as it pains me…) YOU'VE GOT A BLOODY WAND! USE IT!** Blood pored out of it like a fountain. **Ew. Gross mental image**

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. **He just got stabbed in the heart. Shouldn't he be dead?** He started screaming and running around. **And again, he should have been dead already** Then he fell down and died. **Only now?** I brust into tears sadly. **Why? You were calling him a fucked up bastard just two paragraphs ago. Don't tell me you're sad he's dead**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" **Oh, right. Voldie talked in that horrendous old-fashioned way…** called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! **But he was there already right? He cast the spell…** We could hear his high heels clacking to us. **OH NO! YOU DID NOT JUST GIVE VOLDEMORT HIGH HEELS! ARGH!** So we got on our broomsticks **When did you get your broomsticks? You apparated** and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. **Ooookay…**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco **Wait. But he didn't come with you. What's he suddenly doing there?** taking off his clothes so we could screw. **Seriously?** He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah **Yes. I get it. Now I seriously feel like crying…**) and a really huge you-know-what **Oh for god's sake, Tara! If you can't say it, don't write about it!** and everything. **"And everything". What am I supposed to make of that?**

"Its so unfair!" **Wait what? What's happening?** I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **Where the fuck is this coming from? Seriously!**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? **Yeah, Ebony. If you get any more ugly than you are now I don't think I could handle it…** I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! **No they're not** Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. **Not love** Hargrid says he's in love with me. **Then he's crazy** Vampire likes me **Is this the same Vampire who was crying over "his Draco" last chapter? Since when are you called Draco?** and now even Snaketail is in love with me! **Not love** I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" **Because Satan's Satan and he loves messing with people. Duh** I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing **Yes she is** but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty **When did they do that?**) "Im good at too many things! **Of course she's not a snob. She's just extremely arrogant. Which is practically the same thing…** WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? **STOP COMPLAINING! YOU'RE SERIOULSY GETTING ON MY NERVES!** IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. **Wow, what a temper tantrum. You really sound like a three-year-old now…**

**AN: Well everyone, that's another two chapters done! Only about 30 to go now… Yay… Anyway, next update will hopefully come a lot sooner, please leave a review on your way out and I'll see you next time!**


	9. Chapter 15 & 16

**AN: Hi everyone! Look who's back! And it's only been (slightly more than) a month! I know, I'm SO proud of myself… Anyway, Thank you tris-everdeen99 for reviewing (how did it go? PLEASE tell me! :)) and another Thank you to Messiaus0015 for putting this story on alert! And Guest, since I can't reply to you in a PM and though you'll probably never read this anyway, I need to get this off my chest: firstly, thanks for pointing out my mistake to me. I changed it as soon as I saw it. On another note though, I don't understand your second point. I agree that mind-reading can also be called telepathy, but according to Tara, Voldemort "hath TELEKINESIS" and not telepathy. Telekinesis and telepathy are two very different things, and as such that was not my mistake.**

**Whew, enough seriousness! Oh wait. This should be said before I start:**

**Warnings: atrocious spelling in chapter 16, since Raven leaves… I hope you are prepared…**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)!**

Chapter 15

AN: stup flaming ok! **NEVER!** btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! **YES PLEASE DO!** fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

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"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad. **Mad about what?**

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" **I thought we'd been over this…** I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. **I DON'T CARE! ** It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. **The key?** He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco **No he doesn't. Marilyn Manson doesn't look like Draco in ANY way** and Vampire. **Nor does he look like Harry** I started to cry and weep. **Is he THAT ugly? Scratch that. Yes he is** I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. **JESUS CHRIST! GIVE A GIRL A WARNING!** I drank the blood all depressed. **BUCKET! WHERE IS MY BUCKET?!** Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. **1) Wow, that was random… and 2) BIOLOGY? At HOGWARTS? Seriously?**

I put on **WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?** a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. **I DON'T CARE!** Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. **Fashion-fail anyone?** I put my ebony black hair out. **Why? Was it on fire?** Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. **You should talk to someone about that. Can't be healthy** I did sum advanced Biology work. **There're no biology classes on Hogwarts!** I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. **THAT'S biology? Right… I suspect you're getting very low grades for that subject…** Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **Wait, what?**

"Enoby I love you!" **NO! IMAGINARY DRACO! COME TO YOUR SENSES!** he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. **Which, apparently, is something she hates…** Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." **Okay, calm down. It's just a figment of Enobby's imagination. It's not real** Then…. he started to sing **NO! HAVE MERCY!** "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it **Ah, yes. That song almost made me lose my dinner…**) right in front of the entire class! **HE'S NOT REAL!** His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy **How can a voice do that?** like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. **No** if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr! **Sorry, don't feel like it**) .

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish **I DON'T CARE!** and were entwined with Draco's now **How would that even work?**) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch **And yet you use her as comparison…**) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. **Random! **Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. **Look! It's another impossible concert!** We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. **YOU'D NEED TICKETS!**

Chapter 16

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! **Nope** proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! **GO RAVEN!** Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! **You said that already…** BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! **Oh, god… Not good**

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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. **What, you ran in the stage? Riiiight…** MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard **Hey Gerard! I was wondering when I'd see you again!** looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. ***Facepalm*** I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. **When did you get changed? You came straight here…** Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. **Again, when did he change his clothes?** Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. **Have you ever even BEEN to a concert AT ALL?** Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. **Oh god** So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,…**Ooooh, the suspense!**….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD! I CAN'T! DEATH DEALERS, HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'm done**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" **Wait what?** I shouted angrily. **YOU'RE ALREADY THERE!** "Not after what happened to me last time? **Refresh my memory. What happened "last time"?** Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them" **YOU'RE ALREADY AT THE CONCERT! Seriously, what's happening?**

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli **He what?** cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **You've got no right to talk. You can't even WRITE it**

"Yeah cause we you know!" **Nor can you say it** I yielded in an angry voice. **I never noticed you complaining about it…**

"We won't do that again." **THANK GOD! I don't think I could take a second time…** Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT." **I've got a bad feeling about this…**

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" **Why would he be doing that?** I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina **What's a "Christina"?** or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly. **I wanna know how to do that! Teach me!**

"R u becoming a prep or what?" **He heard you the first time, you know** I shootd angrily.

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees **Draco what happened to you?** and started singing **NO! NOT AGAIN!** 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, **What does THAT have to do with it?** he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **It's not THAT big of an achievement, you know**

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in Japanese **Actually, it means "nice to meet you"… FAIL!**). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." **That was sort of redundant…** (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U! **Yes! Raven got a brain! GO RAVEN!**)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. **You were laughing not two sentences ago…** We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. **That is NOT a gothic movie…** "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." **What do you mean "cute"?** B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. **Energetically and lethargically? How does she DO that?** "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." **I'm weeping for Lupin right now…**

"Kawai." **Cute? CUTE? NO it's NOT! IT'S EVERYTHING BUT CUTE!** I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence **Could you teach my sister how to do that? I'd kill for some peace and quiet sometime…** for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." **You've ALREADY BEEN THERE!** I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. **And lethargically?** "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped **Not funny** up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. **Oh no! We're not shopping at Hot Topic! This must be the end of the world!** "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"** *Bangs head into keyboard***

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all." **IMPOSSIBLE!**

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me! **Erm… You just did… **). Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms." **You can't do that!**

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. **Quietly? In caps lock? Yeah, right**

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." **So he didn't tell you. Also what were you doing in his office?** She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs." ***Bangs head into keyboard while screaming loudly***

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! **And who are you to judge?** Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." **Thank god. I feared you'd say "dress"** He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera." **They don't**

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" **Where did THAT come from?** I cried, running out of the changing room **When did you even go IN the changing room?** wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. **Well of course he said that. That's what he's paid for…**

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. **I don't think he's allowed to do that…** Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA **Subtle, Tara, VERY subtle…** way what's yours?"

"Tom Rid." **NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed **IT'S NATURAL!** hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" **Yes, and? It's called FRIENDS, not that you'd know what that means…** I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, **Who says he even wanted to do that?** Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. **That must have made a right mess… Poor salesperson…** "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

**AN: Well, that's that! Less than thirty chapters to go now. Please leave a review on your way out and I'll see you next time!**


	10. Chapter 17 & 18

**AN: Is it really been three months since my last update? I'm truly sorry for taking this long to update, I swear I was planning on it but then finals came and I had to concentrate on them and suddenly it's July. To make up for my long absence here's two extra-long chapters! Thank you Guest for reviewing and thanks to all of you for sticking with me even though I sometimes take a scandalously long time updating…**

**Warnings: Absolutely ATROCIOUS spelling. Raven's still gone :'(**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)!**

Chapter 17

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! **NEVER!** if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. **Seriously? You created a QUIZ to see if someone's a prep? Wow…** if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! **Nah, I think I'll stick around** pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! **Yes Raven, please come back! I won't survive without your (apparently WORKING) spellcheck!**

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Tom Riddle **Wasn't it Rid?** gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. **He can't just DO that!** He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted **No he doesn't "wunt"** koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. **I feel a headache coming. And it's only been TWO SENTENCES!** (hes bisezual). **STOP MAKING IT WORSE!** Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. **WILLOW'S DEAD!** Hargird went away angrily. **Never smart, angering someone's who's twice your size…**

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. **SHE'S DEAD! B'LOODY MARY KILLED HER!**

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. **Oh, so now you need her suddenly she's pretty** She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, **Look! The miniskirt is confused about its color!** leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. **Since when is that a good thing?**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. **BUCKET! QUICKLY!** Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. **I hope with all my heart that's a shop… **B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. **Is that a new brand of coke? Can I try it?** Dracola used to be called Navel **Navel? PLEASE tell me you don't mean Neville. She does mean Neville doesn't she? HAVEN'T YOU RUINED ENOUGH? STOP IT! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!** but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth **He too?** and his real family were vampires. **Anyone else sensing a pattern?** They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth.** Yup, definitely a pattern** He was in Slitherin now. **You're gonna leave Gryffindor empty if you keep going like this Tara…** He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. **Poor Neville…** We kall him Dracula now. **No you don't. You call him Dracola** Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik **I DON'T GET IT! YES! THERE IS A GOD IN THIS WORLD AFTER ALL!**) that his dad Lucian **It's LUCIUS!** gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. **STOP IT!** Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. **Which ones? Did you bring them with you in your car?** We soon got there….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! **Not exactly faithful, is she?** He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. **How am I supposed to picture that?** We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. **Why do I get the feeling Helena is the only song she knows by name?** Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... **I really can't picture Voldemort singing… **Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! **Oh dear, you forgot to pay for your last stash didn't you?**

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife. **What happened to his wand?**

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. **Tell me this isn't who I fear it is…** He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. **HE CAN FLY! HE CAN APPARATE! HE DOESN'T HAVE TO RUN!** It was…DUMBLYDORE! **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Chapter 18

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! **NEVER! And certainly not after last chapter** if u do den ur a fuken prep! **Then so be it **fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! **YES! RAVEN IS BACK!** n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! **NO! NO! NO!**

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I woke up the next day in my coffin. **Ah, sweet spellcheck. I missed you** I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. **Let's hope it showed nothing more than her belly…** I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. **How does that even work?**

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth **YES, I GET IT! NOW STOP TORTURING ME!**). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. **What happened to the car?** Mine was black and the broom-stuff **It's called twigs** was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song. **BUCKET! NOW PLEASE!**)

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. **Oh god** But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. **I'm not liking this** And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. **At. All**

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. **DON'T CARE!** Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. **STILL DON'T CARE!** Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. **And here I thought they'd be talking about the redecoration…** The boys joined in cause they were bi. **And also, apparently completely okay with their girlfriends discussing things like that while they are within hearing range. Get me a boyfriend like that!**

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. **Oh, no. Don't you dare!**

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" **You dared…** we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" **Yes, because a change of clothes is VERY scary. I'm surprised Voldemort wasn't rolling over the floor laughing his ass off. I know I would've…**

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. **Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff decided to call in sick, apparently…**

"BTW you can call me Albert." **STOP IT!** HE CALLED AS WE LEFT **RANDOM CAPSlock** to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. **That would be TRANSFIGURATION, I assume?** We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood **NO, NO, NO!** in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard **YES, I GET IT! *Cries in despair***) but I didn't say anything. **Heartless bitch** "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry. **About Dumbles or about Willow's words? *Confused***

**AN: Whew, finally done. Almost halfway! Yihoo! Only 24 to go! Please leave a review on your way out and I'll see you next time (which hopefully won't be another three months away)!**


	11. Chapter 19 & 20

**AN: Hey all, guess who's back… Please don't kill me. I am SO. SORRY for taking such a long time to update again! I don't really have an excuse except that time just ran away from me and then I discovered Homestuck… Oops :). Anyway, Thank you Annabeth Potter for reviewing (and thanks for the compliment!) and Thank you savannahecate for putting this story on alert AND for reviewing!**

**Warnings: Raven's spell check stopped working… Sigh :(**

**Now, on with the chapter(s)!**

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise **Yay! Another title!**

AN: plz stup flaming da story **NEVER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!** if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok! **Jealousy is the absolute LAST thing I'm feeling right now…** 11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz! **I read that sentence three times over and I'm still not sure I understand it. Any ideas? **111 BTW evonyd a poorblod **You mean a mudblood… GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!** so der!1 **What's that got to do with anything?** fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11 **GO RAVEN!**

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All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. **Oh, right. Dumbles went "goffik". Thanks for the reminder, Tara…** We were so fucking pissed off. **Yes, you said that already…** Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. **Yay! Another impossible concert!** It had been postphoned, so we could all go. **Are you telling me they postponed a concert just so you could go to it? Seriously?**

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. **EXCUSE ME?** Draco was being all secretive. **Oh dear, I do not like the sound of this…**

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DRACO! WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO YOU!** (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot **No comment…**).

"No one fucking understands me!1" **What?** he shouted angrily as his black hare **BLACK? DID YOU SAY "BLACK"? HIS HAIR IS NOT! BLACK!** went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, **Riiiight…** a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit **Yes. Now please kill me. **insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing **Oh god** a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it **Yikes** all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. **What am I supposed to picture when you say "cross belly thing"? **My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. **I'm pretty sure Amy's hair never looked like a crow's nest in that clip…** (email me if u wana see da pik)

"Accuse me? **I hope you mean "excuse"?** What about me!" **No. You DON'T understand him At. All.** I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted. ***Cries helplessly at Tara's massacre of Draco's brilliant character***

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned. **What's he done NOW?**

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted. **Right. Hold on. What's happening?**

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. **Then PLEASE explain it to me? 'Cause I'm not following** I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped **I'm weeping too. But for a different reason. GOD, this is AWFUL** as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces **Yikes** like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video! **Is it as tasteless and awful as you?**). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot. **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT!**

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated. **HAGRID CAN'T DO THAT!**

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. **GO HARGRID!** "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?" **Standing**

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. **Oh dear** Someone else was with him too! **Oooh dear** For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco **So he's your boyfriend, but you'd prefer it to be someone else?** but it was Dumblydore. ***Facepalm* Seriously?**

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! DUMBLEDORE WITH A PURSE! Christ, I just CAN'T stop laughing at that mental image…** "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped. **Where did that come from?**

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u." **Oh, god**

Chapter 20.

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! **Too bad, I'm gonna keep telling you anyway :)** stof pflamin ok prepz!1 **NEVER!** fangz 2 raven **Fix your spellcheck!** 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz **You live in America, right? So in three days, probably all you'd get to do is fly there and back…** so dnot expect updatz. **Thank god!**

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. **All day? Why didn't you go to him immediately after Dumbles told you about it? ** Meanwhile, I pot on **I DON'T CARE!** a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, **YOU ALREADY TOLD US THIS LAST CHAPTER!** since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! NEXT TIME GIVE ME A WARNING!** while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. **So excited you tried to kill yourself? **Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes **Weren't you already dressed up and ready?** and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again. **You were FIGHTING not one day ago!**

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! **No** "R u gonna cum rape me or what." **NO** I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap **STOP** since he was a pedo. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell ***cries for 5 minutes while banging her head violently into the wall because she gets it***) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily. **No, Moony! :'(**

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." **Moony this isn't you! Snap out of it!** He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white **I half expected this to be black as well **foundation. **YOU'RE PALE ENOUGH WITHOUT IT!** Then I went. Den I gasped…** Ooh, the suspense! **….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby **NO! NOT DOBBY!** was watching!1

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. **Why's that so weird?** Normally I wood have ben turned on **BUCKET! WHERE ARE YOU!** (I luv cing guyz do it **You know voyeurism is generally frowned upon?**) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now **You know what's funny? Imagining Snape's reaction to this little sentence… Enobby'd have detention 'til she was 80 :))**)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" **No, he wanted to stuff them in his ears…** I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat **But not this…**)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" **Boooohooooohooooo!** Lumpkin **Oh. My. GOD!** shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot **Snape doesn't shout!** angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. **Like he doesn't know already** So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. ***Rolling over the floor laughing her ass off* 1) Your WOUND? Hilarious and 2) WHY THROW YOUR WAND AT THEM? WHAT KIND OF PATHETIC WITCH ARE YOU?** Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot. **YOU'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND!**

"WTF where'd Draco **Speaking of him, didn't he have a surprise for you? **?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. **Right. You're not being obvious at all here…** He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? **Excuse me?** 2 the concert?" **Oh, to the CONCERT**

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. **THIEF! HE STOLE DRACO'S CAR!** He said his dogfather Serious Blak ***Buries head in hands while shaking with laughter*** had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 **Wow, really? I had NOT seen that coming *heavy sarcasm*** on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it. **I think I'm gonna puke**

….I gasped. **Why?**

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing. **So you're late**

Vampire and I began 2 make out, **YOU'VE STILL GOT A BOYFRIEND!** moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall **BUCKET! QUICK!** . ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. **Really? Can't imagine why…**

**AN: Well, that's a wrap on those two chapters! Two more and we're halfway! Please leave a review on your way out and I'll see you next time (which will probably be a lot sooner…)!**


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